I wrote once that there are times that the seasons inside of us forget to change. But what if it feels they keep changing at a faster pace, they keep going with the wind despite our own internal rhythm, emotions, our own timing? The transition to a new season can be hard to some of us already inclined to wander, head way up in the clouds. Myself included.
So taking a break from social media helps me reline, refocus, bring awareness to everything else happening in the flow on living. To the fact that I have in front of me this big job that is raising three children, and to all the rest of me that goes beyond that small box of sharing, relentlessly taking so much of our time. And this is, by all means, not intended to judge anyone because I can easily spend hours immersed in that context.
In the end this is a small note on the struggle of this past month, from going to wanting to delete my social media pages to focusing on finding balance. Appreciating the good, putting things into perspective. You know, life exercises. One thing I have learned in the past few years is that we shouldn't make any major changes or take any important decisions during transitional times, unless it involves a puppy. ;-)
My first puppy was a Doberman gifted by my maternal grandpa, we come from a big dog lovers family. And I loved that Doberman, his name was "Dutch", still do. Dutch bit me in the head and after that scary event my parents sent Dutch to my grandparents ranch where he bit another person + dogs. From the ranch to the beach house, another incident. From the beach house to another home when his new owner, after getting bitten by him, finally put him to sleep.
My story with Dutch has always felt unresolved. It is not uncommon for me to think of him more often than not, to ponder about that incident and to feel washed by sadness regarding his death. With the new addition to our family, Bob (all smiles), I keep revisiting those past memories, remembering the many dogs I was lucky to have met who have taught me about affection, about letting go and tender goodbyes.
There's something quite special in the way a dog looks into our eyes... it almost feels like they are looking inside of us, how I longed for that... For that eye-meet-eye moment. A silent, precious one. The transition to fall with a new puppy has been an intense one, but also one of rescue. Dogs live the present moment so fully, reminding myself of what I am missing... helping me stay grounded when the wind picks up and the fog rolls. Be my teacher little guy, even if I show resistance.